Future Dad... Again.

I'm afraid. In a week's time, I'm going to be a daddy again. This time to a beautiful little girl. I've done this before with my son, but it still doesn't make it any easier on my nerves. Am I going to be a good dad to her? I'm afraid of failure. Its in the back of my mind because I feel somewhat like I failed my son, not being able to keep our family together. I tell myself that he understands, and I really think he does. He's incredibly smart. I make every effort to see him and spend time with him when ever I can. We play football, video games, watch movies, wrestle, and even play jokes on his step mom and my wife, Jaclyn. I can see it in his eyes, he's happy.

But, what is a Father? What is he supposed to be? Who is he supposed to be? "Father" can be a positive word for many, but also a very painful one for others. When my son was born, he was the most amazing thing I had seen in my entire life. I promised him that no matter what, I would always be there for him. That I would never leave him, I will always love him, and that he can always count on me being there for him. I think i've done that pretty well, and ultimately, i'm going to promise my little girl the same thing. Not every little girl gets to be Daddy's little girl. Some kids have their dads walk out on them. Some will tell you that their dad "doesnt exist". Ive made a promise to myself that my kids will never say that about me, their Dad. If ever comes the day when I'm not here for them, it'll be the day that God takes me from this earth, and takes me home.

I always look back on my childhood at my dad as a model. My dad and I always had a great relationship. He always seemed to find time for me, even juggling two jobs. He had always held me to high standards (and still does), but those standards were never unreasonable: Always have a firm handshake, and look people in the eyes. To love people, because you never know who or where they'll be in the future. To make something of myself, to strive to be the best at what I do, but to never let my ambition come before my happiness. And above all, family ALWAYS comes first.

I can talk to my dad about anything, and feel very comfortable asking his advice on everything from finances, marriage, and just life in general. We have grown closer as I have gotten older because we share the same love for sports, entertainment, and family… But mostly sports, haha. I have never felt anything negative about our relationship in general, though of course there are times when we may not see eye to eye when he points out my flaws, but thats to be expected in any father/son relationship.

But, thats important to me because, I think that a father who is honest with his daughter about his own flaws becomes her confidant. I once read that If a father always finds time to cuddle, listen to, toss in the air, dance with, run alongside, coach, comfort, and protect his daughter, he will give her her the gift of life he is built to give. If a father withholds nothing, teaching his daughter the life skills she needs to know, he shares an active kind of respect for variety in a girl’s developing self. If a father competes with his daughter in games, but especially when she is young, lets her win her share of races, he is showing her both his own humility and her potential. Then, the man she sees as her father becomes more than an arm to walk down the aisle with, he becomes in his daughter’s mind, fearless.

I want to be someone she can trust, someone she can talk with, someone she can walk through life together with.  I want to be someone who can humbly and brokenly reflect the love that her God has for her.  I want to woo the heart of my daughter so that she knows that her beauty goes beyond the length of her hair and the color of her eyes. I want her to know that she is deeply beautiful because of Who made her.  I want her to believe that her Father desires a deep and meaningful relationship with her, and so do I.

Are you afraid?

Its obvious that Satan understands who we are in Jesus because of his repeated attempts to get us to submit to fear. But, when you are fully aware of the truth; the truth of who you are in Jesus, you wont be afraid. The only thing Satan can do is to distract you. He takes our focus off our identities in Christ, onto our seemingly fearful circumstances. Satan can't take away what Jesus has given you, so he tries to encourage you to lose sight of all you have and all you are in Christ.

God proves Himself faithful in our lives (Romans 8:37). Sometimes, you can allow intimidating circumstances to distract you from this truth, and then that causes you to submit to fear. Just like when the waves of the sea "distracted" Peter from Jesus' invitation to walk on water; The distraction caused Peter to be consumed by the waves. When you focus on the waves in life, overwhelming feelings of helplessness, Satan uses that to rob you of doing the impossible through Jesus. But, when you fix your eyes on Jesus, you will rise above all your fears and walk to Him by faith, on what previously were your fears! (Except for my fear of spiders… Im still working on that one…..)

All throughout the Bible, God instructs people to "not fear". Want to know something about "fear" in the Bible? When you add up all the instances in Scripture where it says, "do not fear," "fear not," and "be not afraid", it totals 365…… one occurrence for every day of the year. Makes sense, right? Maybe this is God's way of telling us that will never face a day where we will have a true reason to be afraid.

God during the "Tough Times"

So tonight, my daily reading plan had me read passages from the books of Matthew, Psalm, & Genesis. I know! A random combination scattered across the Bible, right?!?! Thats what I thought too, but of course He totally blows my mind as I read from the 3 books. He re-assured me of His presence with me during the tough times (like now).

Honestly, you feel so helpless during those times. When you're hurting, circumstances are out of your control, and you cant see relief for the future, what can you be sure of? Its tough because it seems like everything happens all at once, and has this "snowball" effect in your life. But, as I read, He showed me that it's during these times I have to remember most of all that He is with me during my hardships. 

During these times, God’s presence comforts us because He knows us intimately. He knows the desires of our hearts, because He's the one that put those desires there. He gives us what we need – His LOVE and STRENGTH, a sense of SECURITY. He lets us know that we are not alone, He is with us. He knows what it is to feel rejected. He knows what it is to feel alone. He knows what it is to suffer. He knows how it feels to lose a loved one. He carries us in His arms along with our problems & worries, and offers peace for our hearts. (Psalm 68:19). We don't need to be afraid because our God is not bound by limitations (Matthew 19:26).

God has a purpose for everything he does, even in allowing "hard times". The story of Joseph in Genesis clearly illustrates this. Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery! But, God planned that those years would prepare him to become the leader of Egypt. At the time he was sold into slavery, Joseph could not see God’s purpose, **And neither will we, most of the time** But Joseph trusted Him through everything, and His faith was rewarded when he was able to rescue his family (Genesis 45:1–8).

We are called to live a life of faith. Believe God’s promises even if your circumstances are beyond you. Remember that your God is true. God will never leave you. He will never forsake you. His good purposes will always be carried out in the end.

Hate and Forgiveness

Do you hate someone? Or "strongly dislike" someone? There are always those people that make you so upset, do so much wrong, even wrong you on a normal basis, that you cant stand to be around them. Its in these times it can be hardest to do what God tells us to do; Love one another, to Instead of choosing revenge or retaliation when we’ve been wronged, love those we’d rather hate. 

Is there someone you can think of right now that you’d like to "pay back"? Do you want someone to hurt like you hurt? We have to resist that urge that comes so naturally to us, to get even. Resist repaying a wrong, because retaliation is usually excessive. When we do pay back, it’s often with interest. 1 Peter 3:9 says, “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called.” You can’t always stop people from hating you, but you don’t have to hate them back. You can’t always make people love you, but you can always love them back.

Believe me, I know it isn't easy. For those of you who know my past, you personally know how hard the road of forgiveness was for me to travel. It's tough, really tough. You can see all kinds of risks involved in forgiving others. like, what if what they did was really wrong? They may not even be sorry about it. It’s said that true forgiveness is hard to extend because it demands that we have to let go of something we value… which is the right to repay. But, what you have to realize is that forgiveness doesn’t clear someone from blame. It doesn’t clear their record with God. But, it does clear you of having to worry about how to punish them. When you forgive another person, you’re not turning them loose. You’re just turning them over to God. That’s why you often hear people who have genuinely forgiven say, "It felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders." Yes. That’s exactly what it is. It’s like a breath of fresh air rushing into your heart. For the first time in a long time, you feel at peace. You feel free. 

If there is someone your struggling to forgive, try and do something kind for that person. It could be anything from saying something nice, a quick email, tweet, Facebook message, a text…. or even a big butterfinger blizzard from Dairy Queen! (Really, thats just what I want right now…. come to think of it, don’t get me one because if you do, I’ll know you’re mad at me for something).

As Christians we are called into relationship with God, but we are also called into relationship with God’s people. 1 John 3:22 -24 "You know that you are a Christian if you obey his command, And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us."

Admitting Your Sin...

Admitting we have messed up can be a hard thing to do. Honestly I, and I think a lot of us, are reluctant to admit we've wronged or sinned unless we're caught in the act. Maybe it's because we are ashamed of what we did and believe that friends and family will "look down" on us,  and thats a hard feeling to cope with. but often times, the sin we are struggling with is something we have looked down on others for. Or maybe we're afraid that the person you sinned against will never forgive you. These are just a couple of emotions and fears i've experienced in my past, and even make it hard today for me to get back on track with God sometimes. It's like the fear holds you back. But, we have to remember that we are called to confess our sins without fear, and to pray for each other (James 5:16). Even though I consider myself in close relationship with God, I sometimes find it hard to confess things to Him, even though I know it should be the other way around; We should never have a difficult time confessing anything to Him. All of our doubts and fears should disappear. When God called Jeremiah to bring Israel to repentance by confessing their sins, God went as far to call them faithless, even whorish… But He still yearned and desired them to return to Him because of His love and mercy for His people. Jesus paid the ultimate price for our mistakes. Pray to Him, talk to Him, admit the sin in your life, and know that He wont look down on you as man might, He will welcome you in grace!

Your Faith is More Valuable Than Gold...

Man, I just love the feeling when a revelation hits me instantaneously when i'm praying after a quick bible read. This is exactly why I got rid of my "Study Bible", so that i'm forced to reflect and pray on anything I read to get the deeper meaning that Jesus originally intended for me to understand. 

Tonight, my reading plan had me come across 1 Peter 1:7 - "These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

The main part that stuck out to me was: "…your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire…" Peter is describing your faith's worth as "greater than gold". We all know how valuable gold is, especially if your female, hahaha! ;) It's obviously desired for its beauty, which explains it's use for almost all our jewelry. It's no coincidence that Peter compares our faith to Gold. Gold is refined under fire, which removes all of its impurities and imperfections resulting in pure, perfect gold. Although, the difference is that gold will eventually lose its shine, breakdown and deteriorate just like any other natural element. But, the Bible says that our faith grows and builds under trial and fire. Each trial we face does NOT deteriorate or devalue our faith. It becomes more perfect the longer we hold on to it. When it's all said and done, all the gold and riches in the world will be left behind. The only thing of value that will remain will be our faith, and what we did with it during our time here. And then, that will "…result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

Hang Out With Some Heathens Today

I had a conversation with a friend at work yesterday (The same friend i mention in my previous post: Foundation Check). He said to me, "Man, you're the coolest 'religious' guy i know." I was flattered at first, but i wondered where that statement stemmed from. I asked him what he meant by that, and he told me that typically, every "religious" person he knows is self centered. They always make him feel inferior, and they only talk and hang with other church people. He even told me that, that is a big reason why he has totally rejected the idea of there being a God, because everyone he knows who believes in God, are total jerks. "How can i believe in God if its going to make me look like those people?" I apologized to him for having such bad experience with "religious" people. 

I told him, "I'm not religious."

He looked at me totally confused, which was completely understandable since we have had several friendly conversations about God. 

"What do you mean? You believe in Jesus, don't you?"

"Yes."

"You are religious then. So whats the difference?"

"I follow Jesus. I do my best to be what He is and do what He did. Which was just to Love people. Thats it."

Still not sure he understood the difference I was trying to explain to Him, but we couldn't talk about it further since we had to get back to work. But, our conversation helped me realize something. Sadly, most churches, don't do the best job hanging out with those who are not like us (Believers). A lot of believers just avoid non-believers altogether. Believers can become very arrogant. You cant be afraid that your witness, or Christ-likeness, might be ruined if you hang around or become really good friends with non-believers. If you are one of those that have that "fear", i promise you this: Many of the people you are hanging around with in the church are living just as sinfully as those in the world. 

If you allow yourself to be controlled by the fear of being judged by fellow Christians, then you will become incapable of fulfilling the plan that God has set forth for you. No matter what you believe God has planned for you, it will always include being a light to those around you. If you are controlled by that fear, then try to think of how many will never see Jesus because the Church won’t step foot into their lives. Let’s not worry about what the overly religious think, and start acting like Jesus. Hang out with some Heathens today.

Take Time For God...

Life lately has been pretty busy for me, so busy in fact that I haven't really had time to spend time with Jesus as I usually do. Tonight, the first thing I said to Him was, "I'm sorry I haven't taken the time to speak with you recently, it has been rather hectic lately…". Somehow, I got the impression that He really didn't care how busy I've been, and that was a petty excuse for passing up time with Him. Ha ha, it resembled the feeling you had when you were a kid, and you were mad at another friend over something really stupid, so you ignored them. And then when confronted about it, you playfully lie, "Oh no no no! Im not ignoring you! Im sorry, I've just been so busy!" (Pssh, Yeah right). 

Honestly, we all live busy, hectic lives. We all wish that we could serve, be at church and be at small group everyday if we could. It can be tough to find a break in our routines to be quiet and listen to/for God. It gets even tougher to do this when a monkey wrench throws off everything in our lives. Could be anything from a defiant child, losing a job, a family death or anything at all that is unexpected. When this happens, I think our natural instinct is to get things back to normal ASAP. We look for the quickest route get things back  in order. And oh yeah, we ask God real quick to bless us along the way. We think all too often that "taking action" for ourselves is the only solution to unexpected problems in life. When in actuality, all we need to do is “Be still and know that [He is] God” Psalm 46:10. Comfort doesn't come from trying to solve everything alone; it comes form knowing God and his ways during our busy life.

I was once told by a small group leader: "Start taking a couple minutes out of your day to be in a quiet place and rest in God and His word. As it becomes a habit, you'll understand its importance and remember to make time during your busy life for God."

Pretty self explanatory if you ask me...

Understanding Love undeserved....

     Its Easter afternoon, and am I at church? Sadly no, im on my Lunch break at Apple. Although its a great thing because I just had an epiphany of sorts. I read another blog just a moment ago from my buddy César, who i really consider to be a brother rather than a "good friend". Its a little lengthy, but its definitely worth the read. You can read it here, the Blog entry is titled: "You were created to be loved and accepted". Reading that prompted me to post this entry in my blog. Basically in response, or adding my thoughts on what he wrote on. The jest of it pretty much is the title of the entry; You were created to be loved and accepted. But, beyond that he goes into the fact that a lot of us don't understand that at all, and a lot of our everyday issues stem from that misunderstanding. 

Ephesians 2:8-10

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

     I believe a lot of us don't "understand" what God has done for us because He did it out of Grace. Grace is an unmerited favor. A LOVE thats un-deserved, and a perfect description of God’s interaction with us. The reason we miss this is because a lot of us operate spiritually out of a sense of entitlement or selfishness, even Christ followers and Christians. By Nature we see everything in light of a “what’s in it for me?” mentality. Because of that mentality, we presume upon God’s grace, and we forget our true sinfulness and guilt. This presumption assumes that God in fact owes US something. Thinking about it, I know ive felt that way sometimes, we all have. We begin thinking God owes us salvation because we go to church every Wednesday, Saturday, and 4 times on every Sunday. We always give everything we can afford to the church, and because of that we believe God owes us an economically stable life because we aren’t bad like everyone else. We don’t curse, drink, or vote for the wrong political candidates. Then I realized that this mentality is absolutely ridiculous. That mentality really boils down to this: "Since im great and goto church, do everything right, ect. God OWES me salvation". God owes you…. Do you realize how amazingly stupid that sounds? God owes you?? No, the reality is that we are his workmanship, created in His image to do good works. WE OWE God everything, while he owes us NOTHING! We are saved by grace through faith in Jesus. 

     Jesus, I pray that the Holy Spirit would reveal any pride in my heart concerning your salvation, and remove from me. I pray that you will use me as an example to my family and friends of what Life following you should be. 

Amen.

Foundation Check....

     I have a friend at work that I always talk to. He questions me all the time about my faith, Jesus, etc. Not in a bad way though, more like he's curious, looking for a "reason" to believe, but wants proof i guess. For the sake of animosity, we'll call my friend "Bob". Bob stumped me today with a question. Its a fairly simple question in itself, but was difficult to for me to answer on the spot. Its probably one you've heard before, i know i have, but never really thought about it and i've never had anyone ask me directly. 

     He said, "So, if God really exists, why does he let all the recent tragedies happen? like the Haiti earthquake, the Tsunami in Japan, etc.?" 

     I didn't have anything for him there, i was caught completely off guard by it. we usually have great conversations together, and he's genuinely intrigued with what i have to say most of the time. but today, i had nothing for him but a blank stare for a few seconds, which seemed like forever. I then tried to explain, but i was fumbling over my words, going back and forth, i don't even remember what i was saying. He ended up cutting me off and said, "You know what, bro? Just get back to me on that one, ok?" I think he was amused at my attempt to explain, since he was laughing at my apparent sudden inability to to speak in complete sentences. it was embarrassing to a degree. 

     So, i came home tonight searching through my Bible. Of course, i remember what im looking for when i come home, not when i needed it earlier! It was in the book of Luke, and it took me fore ever to find it. It was the Parable of the Two Foundations. Its a little long, so ill link it here for you: Luke 6:47-49

     We focus on the foundation of the man whose house was built on the rock, obviously. He obeys the words of Jesus and his house stays up. But, we tend to ignore the fact that this man STILL does go through the storm. Both of these men go through the same storm, but there is a different outcome for each.  The only difference is their foundation. Following Jesus isn’t about everything being great and not having any storms. Its is about weathering the storms WITH Jesus as our foundation.  Jesus never said that who ever listens and follows him wont go through any "storms". He says that the man who listens and follows will be able to make it through the storms because he has Jesus as his foundation. Look under your feet, do a Foundation check!

Instant Gratification....

     If you think about it, our lives today have become pretty easy, no matter how busy or complicated your life is. We have become the "Now Generation". We don’t know what it means to wait for something anymore. If we want food, simply go get fast food. New album came out? Why spend time going to the store and buying it, when you can download it to your computer instantly? Whats your best friend doing right this second? Check their twitter/facebook or send them a quick text. Its all instant gratification. We have became a people who consume food, gossip, entertainment, news, and so on. 

     Unfortunately I've noticed that sometimes we look at God with the "Instant Gratification" mind set. We go to church because we know we can get an amazing worship experience. We don’t have to do anything the music is selected already, and we don’t have to think about the Bible because we are told precisely what acknowledge. Now don't get me wrong; These are excellent things to have and look for in church. But, the problem is that it can create an "Instant Gratification" mentality of God if you don't do your part in growing your relationship with Jesus. This not only deals with our experience at church, but our personal experience as we read the Bible individually. For instance: I gave away my study bible a while back because I realized that it gave me the answer I was looking for, or it explained to me the meaning of a given passage right away; rather than me actually taking the time to reflect on what I read, and discovering on my own what God wanted me to take away from it. Again, I'm not saying, "Go throw away your study bible!" Not by any means. It's  not bad resource, but it can cause us to be dependent the instant gratification aspect, instead of being dependent on God. 

"Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight on all of this."

      2Timothy 2:7

     In 2Timothy chapter 2, Paul is giving instructions to Timothy. The instructions were hard to understand, but I realized that Paul didn’t want Timothy to just depend on him. Instead, he knew Timothy should depend on God and the Holy Spirit that was in Him. 

When you read your bible, think over what you have read and ask God to give you the understanding. 

     When I first started going to church, I just believed what people told me about what they got out of reading certain passages of the Bible. But, as I've grown closer to Jesus, I've realized that I get a greater greater joy in God’s word when I think and pray over it, than just read or listen to what others have said of it. 

Be careful that you don’t become a simple "consumer of God." 

Show me the money...

Ok, so first off, Im doing this completely from my iPad, so please forgive the grammar mistakes!

Wow. So it defenitely has been a LONG time my last blog entry, almost 6 months! And contrary to popular belief, i assure you that i havent fallen off the face of the earth.

One thing i miss from my "job free" period in the summer, was that i was focusing everything into my church. it was truely life giving, and i learned alot about myself and God. We became close, much closer than i ever couldve dreamed of in my entire life. But eventually, as you may know, being job free brings up some issues, mainly money and stress. Which is what prompted me to make this blog entry, and ill come back to that.

So i seeked out a job and i was lucky enough to land a great job at Apple within just a couple of weeks of searching. But unfortunately, its virtually impossible to make it to church with my schedule from Apple. So, i do the best that i can without being able to attend services. I used to catch the tail end of services via live stream before my computer crashed a couple months ago, and now all i really do is ask God for his guidence, and read my bible. Its so easy now that i can access my bible, in any translation, from anywhere on my iPhone and iPad.

So, anyways... Back to my main reason im making this update: MONEY and STRESS. Only recently these issues have come up alot in my life. For me, money is extremely tight right now and its causing alot of stress. I always tell myself, "Well, its because youre not making as much as you used to." But then again, when i was making more money, it was still tight anyways. So i came to the conclusion (which im pretty sure most of you have come to this as well) that when i feel i do not have enough money or i have too many bills.... I become irritable. it affects my relationship with my fiance, and my relationships in general. And it defenitly affects decisions i make on a day to day basis.

In short, i get stressed out when i feel i have too many bills and too little money. It even affects my self esteem sometimes. For example, whe Jaclyn and i got engaged we decided that it would be best that we didnt have a wedding and just goto the JP. We decided that because we couldnt afford a wedding, so it defenitly affected a big life changing event such as getting married. i felt horrible because i felt like i cant even provide for a simple wedding that she deserves, how is she going to be able to count on me in the future financially?? Luckily, she has made it abundantly clear that her love for me will never be affected by money, or the lack thereof. and thankfully my parents have decided to take care of the wedding for us. Which is completly awesome, but a whole other story in itself.

So, why does money still stress me out??? It seems like the more money i have, the more things i have to pay for. Its a horrible cycle, and i feel like i can never catch a break. So then i got to thinking, "How much is really enough?" Is There any amount of money that will truly make me Happy? (Realistically of course. 10 million would do great, but thats just not in the cards now is it?) Tonight, my conversation with God in prayer went like this:

"So, Father, why does it always seem like i never have enough money? Like there is always a bill or something important that im behind on? Why does this stress build up inside of me uncontrolably?"

"Who is your God."

"Um, is this a trick question?"

"No. Who is your God?"

"Ok, well thats easy. You are. But, what does have to do with money?"

"It has everything to do with it. Its Not just who you say your God is. If someone were to look at your life, who or what would that person say you were putting your trust in?"

"Is this another trick question?"

"There wasnt a first trick question to begin with."

"Ok then. I think theyd say that i put my trust in you."

"Again, its not just what you say. Would people be able to tell from the way you live your life, from the way you spend your money, that your trust is in Me, the creator of heaven and earth? Or would they say you trust in the abilities you have, or the connections you have, or the money you have?"

"Oh. I see where youre going with this.... I think."

"The way you are living right now, is distracted. If you live your life serving money, then you cant serve me and my purpose at the same time. Do you remember that man you walked into the other day leaving work?"

"Yes. I remember he yelled at me. He yelled, 'Hey! Watch where youre walking!!' he was actually pretty mean about it, jeez."

"Thats because you were too busy paying attention to your phone while walking, not watching where you were going."

"Oh yeah.... Distracted."

"Exactly. The same thing applies to your spiritual life with me. You want to be heading one way, but your eyes are focused on something else, like money. and what your eyes are focused on has an effect on what you end up doing and where you end up going, even if it is not what you intended."


See, this is why i love God. I can be so blunt with him, and he'll be blunt right back, putting me back in my place. The answer was so simple, i just couldnt see it right in front of me. "Distracted". I think a lot of us, myself included, live our lives like Money is our god. As if money is going to be able to buy us peace and contentment. We think that having stuff, more stuff, more money to buy stuff, is going to make us happy, but it only leads to discontentment, and ultimately stress. We may be able to give the "right answer" verbally to God, or in church, but are we "living" the right answer? If we are continuing to focus on worldly things instead of focusing on God, then that is going to affect how we live, even if it is not what we intend for our lives.

I realize in order for me to fix this mentality and to eventually reduce the stress that is being caused by it, is not an overnight process. Its going to take some real difficult changes in myself if im going to overcome these stresses and get to a point of enjoying the peace and contentment that comes from God. The first step im taking: refocus on God, and His word.

Father God, please give me the strength i need to focus on you. Give me the confidence i need to set an example for and lead my family. Sometimes i look in the mirror and i do not like what i see. Please let me see myself the way you made me. Allow others to see you shining through me as i follow you. Amen.