Have you ever been “angry” with God? Not just angry, but really angry, like pissed off? Im pretty sure we all have. I know I have. I recently was reminded about the anger I had towards God before I came to know Him on a personal level. It was pretty strong to say the least. People say that we’re not supposed to get angry with him, that he’s God, hes perfect, and its in our best interest not to get angry with him. But regardless, I truly was angry with him, and I let him know it. I started thinking about it, and I realized that I had a bunch of unanswered questions about that time in my life, and really wanted to know those answers. So the other night, I brought it back up with Him...
-"God, why did you let that happen to me? My life was going good, I was happy, everything was going to my plan… and all of a sudden you turned my life upside down, and all my dreams were shattered right in front of me. I thought you wanted me to be happy. Why did you do that to me?"
-You have the belief that happiness is a life of “trouble free” living, and because you had the wrong perception of me, when trials came your way, you felt that I had failed you, or let you down because you were not happy with your situation. Happy doesn’t mean you’ll own a $100,000 car, live in a mansion, be attractive, popular, and never have to worry about satan sneaking up on you. No. Happy is the man that suffers for righteousness. Happy is the man that endures. Not once did I ever tell you that happy is the guy that has it "all together”. You must understand that your concept of happiness is conditional, that as long as everything is going the way YOU want it to go, you’re happy. It’s not that I dont care or that im not listening. But because you expect me to perform according to the expectations you have in your selfish mind, you develop the wrong concept of me. And because you have the wrong concept of me, and because i have not performed to your selfish expectations, you get angry with me causing your concept of me to fail. And then that causes you to get angry with me again. it’s a continuous cycle of negative emotions.
-"Ok, that makes sense… buuuuut, it still doesn’t answer the question of “why” you put me through it all. Did you do it because I had the wrong perception of happiness?"
-No, to build your character.
-"My character? Seriously? That’s so cliché God, c’mon."
-Yes, your character. Your character are the things that form you as a man of God, your nature, your integrity, and your identity. You suffered through everything because I had to build your identity, so that when people see you today, they say "I want to know that man", "What is it in his life that shines through?". So that when you confront the devil, he’ll say with fear in his eyes, "Here comes a man of God, he has come to destroy us…". That’s what I was doing to you, I was working on your identity, but you couldn’t understand that, and you got angry.
-"Well, what else was I supposed to do? i didnt know..."
-Have faith.
-"I do have faith!"
-No, you have selective faith.
-"What the heck is that?!?!"
-So many times you talk about Faith and say that you have it. But you only have it as long as you can see a possible ‘way out’, but as soon as you do not have sight of something you want, you get angry with me.
-“……”
-I have everything under control and the proof is in the endurance of your character after you pass the test. you may not be able to see it now… but just wait. Something amazing is coming for you.
Ok, so after that conversation, I gotta say that I felt pretty stupid. When we get angry with Him, its really because we don’t understand why, or what he is doing in our lives. We try to have God work within our own expectations, and when he does not meet our expectations, we get angry with him and begin to blame him. No matter what it is your going through, all I can say is keep praising him. He will make straight the crooked paths that lie before you, and he makes all things work together for our good. He is building up your character for what is to come next in your life, and its something amazing. Its something abundantly above and beyond anything you could ever hope for, dream or imagine. it may already be right in front of you...
Friday, June 25, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Unconditional...
Have you ever seen or experienced something so exciting, so amazing, so unbelievable that it just took your breath away? And when you finally caught your breath, you could hardly stop talking about what you saw or experienced? Of course you have, everyone has at least one defining moment like that. Our ability to experience these moments, these blessings are what sets us apart from all of God's other creations in this world. For instance, my cat Gonzo..... actually, nevermind. thats a bad example. Gonzo doesnt express any emotion other than laziness. Switch to my dog, Vince. Vince can get really excited when he sees me going into the pantry for his food. And when i reach for his dog treats, his tail wags so vigorously, i swear i could probably use it to buff the wax off my mustang! We as humans can get excited about things like food, too. wanna see me or Cesar get excited? start talking about food. But, what makes us different is that we can interpret events and tag them with meaning to produce an intense emotional high. see, Vince will never respond emotionally like we do when we see Mexico score a go-ahead goal in the World Cup Final in the closing seconds. Why? Because its what God made us to do. He made us to respond to His blessings. The fact is, all things that we experience are His blessings, good or bad. He makes all things work together for our good. His Blessings trigger emotions that can be deeply moved by what we see. This is why we were always taught as kids to, "Bless those who bless us." to express thanks for the good things that others do for us. But i realized that this expression is somewhat narrow minded. we shouldnt bless just those who bless us, but we should bless everyone. we are made in God's image. He isnt picky about who he blesses, because God is in a perpetual state of blessing anyways. His being blessed is not dependent on anything we can say or do in return for His blessings. He is blessed because it is who He is. God never has a "bad day". God is totally and eternally satisfied. God’s blessings to us have absolutely nothing to do with what we do to or for Him. God is free to bless us simply because of His infinite mercy and grace.
Too many times we think of God’s blessings, favors and forgiveness in "conditional terms."See, Saturday night, i was talking to a friend whom i havent seen in over 8 years, and we've been spending a lot of
time together in the last few weeks. Saturday night, we were talking, and i could there was something she wanted to tell me, but something was wrong. she was afraid of what i would think of her, that i would turn my back and walk away from her if i knew. so, after a few minutes of prying, she turned away and looked down to the ground as if she were ashamed, and told me what she had to say, it was pretty serious stuff, and obviously i wont say what it is in respect for her privacy. she was genuinely surprised when i wanted to talk to her about it, and told her that didnt change my opinion about her, or how i saw her. i dont think she was used to that reaction, to know that i saw her for who she really is, as opposed to how she feels others see her. her past is done, and holds no bearing on the future, or her life now. she wanted to know why i felt that way. why it didnt phase me, and what it is in my life that makes me that way. that opens the door for Him to do what He does best. you see, He doesnt care about your past, or if you feel you're un-deserving of His love. His love, favor and blessings are truly unconditional, and we need to reflect that to everyone we meet in this journey we call "life". God blesses because that is the nature of who He is. He is a God who blesses, not in order to get the blessings of others, but because He himself is already blessed. And that means that no matter what is happening on any given day in the world, God will continue to work out His blessings because He is an unending fountain of blessing. we need to do what we can to show the same unconditional blessing to everyone. who can you bless today?
Too many times we think of God’s blessings, favors and forgiveness in "conditional terms."See, Saturday night, i was talking to a friend whom i havent seen in over 8 years, and we've been spending a lot of
time together in the last few weeks. Saturday night, we were talking, and i could there was something she wanted to tell me, but something was wrong. she was afraid of what i would think of her, that i would turn my back and walk away from her if i knew. so, after a few minutes of prying, she turned away and looked down to the ground as if she were ashamed, and told me what she had to say, it was pretty serious stuff, and obviously i wont say what it is in respect for her privacy. she was genuinely surprised when i wanted to talk to her about it, and told her that didnt change my opinion about her, or how i saw her. i dont think she was used to that reaction, to know that i saw her for who she really is, as opposed to how she feels others see her. her past is done, and holds no bearing on the future, or her life now. she wanted to know why i felt that way. why it didnt phase me, and what it is in my life that makes me that way. that opens the door for Him to do what He does best. you see, He doesnt care about your past, or if you feel you're un-deserving of His love. His love, favor and blessings are truly unconditional, and we need to reflect that to everyone we meet in this journey we call "life". God blesses because that is the nature of who He is. He is a God who blesses, not in order to get the blessings of others, but because He himself is already blessed. And that means that no matter what is happening on any given day in the world, God will continue to work out His blessings because He is an unending fountain of blessing. we need to do what we can to show the same unconditional blessing to everyone. who can you bless today?
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Reflect Jesus
I love when i get the opportunity to share Jesus unintentionally. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine (Who isnt saved, and actually denies the existance of Jesus or God) about life in general, and what our plans were for the future so far. She asked me,
"So, hows life treating you so far? you know, since you're not working anymore and all."
"Great actually."
"Are you looking for a job?"
"Nope."
"Do you have lots of money?"
"Nope."
"But, you can still pay your bills and house?"
"Yeah, for the most part."
"Wow, God must be on your side."
".....Exactly."
Isnt that the point of our lives?? Pastor JB says, "Live a life that demands a response. Live a life so that when people meet you, or see you, they say, 'That cant be anything other than God. Theres no other explination.'" 2 Corinthians 3:18: "And we, who ..reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness…“ When people see us, We should reflect Jesus. He ought to shine through; in our everyday lives, work, school, homes, etc. He should be seen in what we say, and in what we do. Would anything be different if Jesus came and took your place? Would something have changed this morning as you were getting ready for work? How about if He took your place at work? Thats exactly what He wants. He wants to make himself known to others through our actions. Honestly, its much easier that way. For the longest time, ive tried getting my friends to come to church just once by telling them about Jesus, the Bible, etc. It sucks to hear, but, most people dont really care about what you have to say to them. They want proof. they want action. it wasnt till i gave up on it and told God that i wasnt cut out to spread His word, that i realized i was going about it the wrong way. I just started focusing my life on Him, and tried living as He would to the best of my abilities, and people came to me naturally, wondering what was different about me. That opens the door for everything else.
I was trying to explain this the best I could to Kale last night, about being and looking like Jesus to everyone else. He said to me, "Is that why you growed your beard, and wear your old sandals? So that you can look like jesus all the time?" bahahahaha! I was laughing so hard that I had tears in my eyes. I hope you're not taking me as literal as Kale was, he's only 5! Im not talking about physically resembling him, growing beards, wearing robes, beat up sandels etc. Im talking about His character, attitude and nature. Think about what people see when they think about Jesus, weather they belive in Him or not, they see the same things. Generosity, love, genuine, compassion. He was also very receptive. He welcomed anyone who came to Him: Intelligent, illiterate, childish, desperate, the sick. He was a "friend" of sinners. What better friend can anyone have than Jesus?
What do people see when they look at you? Do they see you as being generous in the same ways that Jesus was? Do they see you being genuine about your faith and your commitments? Does your life, your heart, and your nature reflect His glory?
"So, hows life treating you so far? you know, since you're not working anymore and all."
"Great actually."
"Are you looking for a job?"
"Nope."
"Do you have lots of money?"
"Nope."
"But, you can still pay your bills and house?"
"Yeah, for the most part."
"Wow, God must be on your side."
".....Exactly."
Isnt that the point of our lives?? Pastor JB says, "Live a life that demands a response. Live a life so that when people meet you, or see you, they say, 'That cant be anything other than God. Theres no other explination.'" 2 Corinthians 3:18: "And we, who ..reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness…“ When people see us, We should reflect Jesus. He ought to shine through; in our everyday lives, work, school, homes, etc. He should be seen in what we say, and in what we do. Would anything be different if Jesus came and took your place? Would something have changed this morning as you were getting ready for work? How about if He took your place at work? Thats exactly what He wants. He wants to make himself known to others through our actions. Honestly, its much easier that way. For the longest time, ive tried getting my friends to come to church just once by telling them about Jesus, the Bible, etc. It sucks to hear, but, most people dont really care about what you have to say to them. They want proof. they want action. it wasnt till i gave up on it and told God that i wasnt cut out to spread His word, that i realized i was going about it the wrong way. I just started focusing my life on Him, and tried living as He would to the best of my abilities, and people came to me naturally, wondering what was different about me. That opens the door for everything else.
I was trying to explain this the best I could to Kale last night, about being and looking like Jesus to everyone else. He said to me, "Is that why you growed your beard, and wear your old sandals? So that you can look like jesus all the time?" bahahahaha! I was laughing so hard that I had tears in my eyes. I hope you're not taking me as literal as Kale was, he's only 5! Im not talking about physically resembling him, growing beards, wearing robes, beat up sandels etc. Im talking about His character, attitude and nature. Think about what people see when they think about Jesus, weather they belive in Him or not, they see the same things. Generosity, love, genuine, compassion. He was also very receptive. He welcomed anyone who came to Him: Intelligent, illiterate, childish, desperate, the sick. He was a "friend" of sinners. What better friend can anyone have than Jesus?
What do people see when they look at you? Do they see you as being generous in the same ways that Jesus was? Do they see you being genuine about your faith and your commitments? Does your life, your heart, and your nature reflect His glory?
Friday, May 28, 2010
Enjoy your life, and quit worrying...
Earlier today while out running errands, I spoke to a woman on the side of the road at a stop light. You know the one, when you usually ignore them, or try to look busy while they walk by and you're there on a red light. We’re all guilty of it at some point or another. My windows were down, and she walked up casually and said, “Hi, my name is Carla.” I replied nicely and introduced myself to her. She then politely asked, “Hey, are you gonna finish the rest of that apple?” I told her no, and offered it to her. She took it without question and started eating it. We had a quick, but very insightful conversation. She said she was just passing through Austin, didn’t really know where to. She had no food, no money, and no place she calls “home”. During our conversation, i asked her:
“How do you do it? I mean, like, what keeps you going forward in this difficult life you’re living?”
Unbelievably, she said, “I don’t worry about my life or how others see it, because I know that God takes care of me.”
At that time the light turned green. She looked back at me and said, “Andy, thank you for the apple. I pray that you will enjoy whats in store for you, and you will let go of the worry in your life.” By now, the cars behind me were honking at me for holding up the line, so then I drove off. Just like that. It was amazing to think that this woman was more concerned about my problems than hers. She didn’t even know me. Except that my name was Andy. For all she knows, I could’ve given her a fake name. I thought about it more tonight, and I realized that, people who suffer a lot, worry very little. While others who suffer little, worry a lot.
Then I thought to myself, “Do I worry a lot? Do I have that kind of mind that tends to lean towards the worries of life?” I wrestled around with this thought in my head for a while before I asked God about it in prayer.
“Father, do I worry too much?”
-“Yes.”
“…….. Yes?”
-“Yes.”
“Uhhhh, ok. So…… then, what?”
-“Quit. Worrying effects everything you do."
“Well, I know it can effect how I treat others. Ive been through that before. I was very inconsiderate to everyone: Family, Co-workers, friends, etc."
-“Yes, you get so consumed in your worries that you lash out to those you love most. But, more importantly, it effects your spiritual productivity.”
“My spiritual what?”
-“When your mind is filled with worry and anxiety, all you do is focus on them. You leave me and my will out of your life. You find little time for prayer and little time for my word.”
Philippians 4:6-7 puts it pretty clear. – “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” its pretty simple: if we worry too much, then God’s Peace will diminish in your life. I heard an expression once, it goes like this: Worrying doesn’t do much at all. Worrying is like a rocking chair; itll give you something to do, but it wont get you anywhere…”
“Ok God, so how do I start getting the ‘worry' out of my life?”
-“You must cast you worries unto me in prayer.”
“But, I already do that. Don’t I?”
-“No. At first you do, but then you take them back and eventually try to handle them yourself. You must lay down your issues to me, and not worry about them ever again. You spend too much time worrying about the future and things that out of your control. Live one day at a time, because each day has enough problems to face.”
If we are constantly worrying about the past and future, then we are wasting our time.
When things happen to us that are out of our control, we cant sit back and worry about it excessively, instead we need to give our worries to God and trust that He'll tae care of them. I love talking with God, I always come away replenished. Tonight, He took my worries away. What about yours?
“How do you do it? I mean, like, what keeps you going forward in this difficult life you’re living?”
Unbelievably, she said, “I don’t worry about my life or how others see it, because I know that God takes care of me.”
At that time the light turned green. She looked back at me and said, “Andy, thank you for the apple. I pray that you will enjoy whats in store for you, and you will let go of the worry in your life.” By now, the cars behind me were honking at me for holding up the line, so then I drove off. Just like that. It was amazing to think that this woman was more concerned about my problems than hers. She didn’t even know me. Except that my name was Andy. For all she knows, I could’ve given her a fake name. I thought about it more tonight, and I realized that, people who suffer a lot, worry very little. While others who suffer little, worry a lot.
Then I thought to myself, “Do I worry a lot? Do I have that kind of mind that tends to lean towards the worries of life?” I wrestled around with this thought in my head for a while before I asked God about it in prayer.
“Father, do I worry too much?”
-“Yes.”
“…….. Yes?”
-“Yes.”
“Uhhhh, ok. So…… then, what?”
-“Quit. Worrying effects everything you do."
“Well, I know it can effect how I treat others. Ive been through that before. I was very inconsiderate to everyone: Family, Co-workers, friends, etc."
-“Yes, you get so consumed in your worries that you lash out to those you love most. But, more importantly, it effects your spiritual productivity.”
“My spiritual what?”
-“When your mind is filled with worry and anxiety, all you do is focus on them. You leave me and my will out of your life. You find little time for prayer and little time for my word.”
Philippians 4:6-7 puts it pretty clear. – “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” its pretty simple: if we worry too much, then God’s Peace will diminish in your life. I heard an expression once, it goes like this: Worrying doesn’t do much at all. Worrying is like a rocking chair; itll give you something to do, but it wont get you anywhere…”
“Ok God, so how do I start getting the ‘worry' out of my life?”
-“You must cast you worries unto me in prayer.”
“But, I already do that. Don’t I?”
-“No. At first you do, but then you take them back and eventually try to handle them yourself. You must lay down your issues to me, and not worry about them ever again. You spend too much time worrying about the future and things that out of your control. Live one day at a time, because each day has enough problems to face.”
If we are constantly worrying about the past and future, then we are wasting our time.
When things happen to us that are out of our control, we cant sit back and worry about it excessively, instead we need to give our worries to God and trust that He'll tae care of them. I love talking with God, I always come away replenished. Tonight, He took my worries away. What about yours?
Monday, May 17, 2010
Prayer
Church was awesome tonight, as always. Received a great message on the life of Daniel, and also got a first hand lesson from JB on how to tame a lion with a stool… ha, don’t ask, you just had to be there. But, aside from that, I got to have a great conversation about life, and my future with an amazing friend of mine whom i havent seen or spoke to in way to long. In my last post a couple days ago, I was kinda “griping” about how people reacted when I let them know of my current work situation, and reasoning. Well, her reaction was completely the opposite. Instead she asked,
-“So, what are your future plans with Jesus and the Church?”
-“I don’t know, actually.”
-“Well, why not?”
-“Well, I don’t know what it is yet, and im trusting God will show it to me when the time is right.”
-“Have you prayed about it and asked Him to show it to you clearly without question? That its what your heart really wants?”
She made a great point to me, and I realized that this whole time ive been praying for his guidance, and to confirm that what I was doing was His will for me. I haven’t been ASKING Him to show me clearly what He wants the next step to be in my life in the church/ministry. She pointed out Matthew 7:7-8 – “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”
It then hit me so clearly. Its obvious that God wants us to pray to Him, and its because we struggle to know His will in our lives. She told me that we don’t have to struggle with knowing His will for each of us, all we have to do is ask Him to show it clearly to us. She makes total sense. To pray, means to ask God for what you want spiritually. Not necessarily objects, but whatever my heart generally desires. What my heart should desire most is God. To know Him, to love Him. Now, don’t get me wrong, im not implying that your prayers should only be asking God for your desires. We should also go to God confessing sins, and giving thanks, praise and worship. Prayer should include all of that. But, think about it: Prayer is “asking”, or “requesting”. God’s will is that we ask Him for things. As a matter of fact, He delights in it! Proverbs 15:8 says: “The prayer of the upright is His Delight.” He really wants you to ask Him for what your heart desires, and He takes steps to see that it happens.
When I prayed tonight, I asked Him:
-“Why do you Delight yourself with my requests and prayers, when I sin so much and don’t deserve anything from you at all?”
-“It is who I am. I am love. I love you so much that I am willing to give you what you need to have joy in me.”
-“I would never question your love, but why prayer? I mean, you know the desires of my heart anyways, so why is prayer even needed?
-“Prayer is not a small, little insignificant thing. It is at the very heart of why I created the universe! You have this skewed view that the universe is about giant events, black holes and supernovas. But really, the center of the universe is man created in my image, and the meaning of man is to display my glory. I display my glory by being depended on through your prayers. Your need for prayer should be like your need for air. Inhale my word, and exhale prayer.”
Wow. That’s all really, wow. It was so overwhelming, I became lightheaded just thinking about it. God loves to show His grace in meeting our needs and prayers, it magnifies His glory and makes our joy. We need to pray often. It isn’t inconsistent. We must be devoted to prayer, and not forgetful. Make sure that it is part of your life, the same way that sleeping and eating are. This should be your prayer life, and mine. Ask Him for your heart’s desires, and see what he will do for you.
-“So, what are your future plans with Jesus and the Church?”
-“I don’t know, actually.”
-“Well, why not?”
-“Well, I don’t know what it is yet, and im trusting God will show it to me when the time is right.”
-“Have you prayed about it and asked Him to show it to you clearly without question? That its what your heart really wants?”
She made a great point to me, and I realized that this whole time ive been praying for his guidance, and to confirm that what I was doing was His will for me. I haven’t been ASKING Him to show me clearly what He wants the next step to be in my life in the church/ministry. She pointed out Matthew 7:7-8 – “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”
It then hit me so clearly. Its obvious that God wants us to pray to Him, and its because we struggle to know His will in our lives. She told me that we don’t have to struggle with knowing His will for each of us, all we have to do is ask Him to show it clearly to us. She makes total sense. To pray, means to ask God for what you want spiritually. Not necessarily objects, but whatever my heart generally desires. What my heart should desire most is God. To know Him, to love Him. Now, don’t get me wrong, im not implying that your prayers should only be asking God for your desires. We should also go to God confessing sins, and giving thanks, praise and worship. Prayer should include all of that. But, think about it: Prayer is “asking”, or “requesting”. God’s will is that we ask Him for things. As a matter of fact, He delights in it! Proverbs 15:8 says: “The prayer of the upright is His Delight.” He really wants you to ask Him for what your heart desires, and He takes steps to see that it happens.
When I prayed tonight, I asked Him:
-“Why do you Delight yourself with my requests and prayers, when I sin so much and don’t deserve anything from you at all?”
-“It is who I am. I am love. I love you so much that I am willing to give you what you need to have joy in me.”
-“I would never question your love, but why prayer? I mean, you know the desires of my heart anyways, so why is prayer even needed?
-“Prayer is not a small, little insignificant thing. It is at the very heart of why I created the universe! You have this skewed view that the universe is about giant events, black holes and supernovas. But really, the center of the universe is man created in my image, and the meaning of man is to display my glory. I display my glory by being depended on through your prayers. Your need for prayer should be like your need for air. Inhale my word, and exhale prayer.”
Wow. That’s all really, wow. It was so overwhelming, I became lightheaded just thinking about it. God loves to show His grace in meeting our needs and prayers, it magnifies His glory and makes our joy. We need to pray often. It isn’t inconsistent. We must be devoted to prayer, and not forgetful. Make sure that it is part of your life, the same way that sleeping and eating are. This should be your prayer life, and mine. Ask Him for your heart’s desires, and see what he will do for you.
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