Trust and Faith

Wednesday, 5.5.2010, 2:30am
So, I had another talk with Jesus just now, and actually before I got into all the important stuff, I asked Him,

--“Why is it always like, 2 in the morning when you wanna talk to me??”

--“It’s the time when you are willing to listen to me, when your body is settled, and your mind is calm…”

it totally makes sense. Now that a lot of my time is spent at home with friends, with kale, etc., most of my jesus time is in the evening after “bed time”. Ill often just sit down, and find myself lost in my Bible. Before I know it, ive been reading for 2 and a half hours, and then Jesus comes and sits next to me. I cant describe it, just a total complete peace that comes over me. If you read my last post a couple days ago, youd know that Jesus and i just recently had the “trust” talk. Tonight was a follow up on that somewhat. We talked in great detail about my life as it currently stands. I assured Him that I trust in Him completely, but I realized that its not just that simple.

--He said to me, “You don’t trust in me wholly with your life, until you cast your problems and burdens unto me. Trust me with them, and you will have peace.”

Amen to that. Haven’t you ever wished that you could shake off your difficulties and problems? That you could be freed from your cares? Give your problems to God. But, most of the time, we don’t. I think that most of us believe that God has a plan for us, but think we control the plan and try to do it all on our own. Are you kidding me?!? Its God’s plan! The maker of the universe! And you think that you can control the plan?? He wants to help you along His plan, for free! Its like going to the airport with 10 pieces of gigantic, heavy luggage, and the attendant says, “Hey, all that looks heavy. Tell you what, ill help you with all that, get you checked in, and have it all delivered to your hotel for you at your destination city…. FREE.” And then you say, “Oh cool, well, thanks, but I think ill just take it all with me as carry-on bags, theyre all going to the same place…”. For reals?! C’mon. as stupid as that sounds, that’s what ive been doing lately with all my issues. Trusting that He’ll take care of them, but never really casting them unto him at all. how can He take care of them, if i dont give them to him? kinda like some one  who wants to cook you dinner, and you invite them to do so, but oh yeah, my gas is off, and my stove and oven dont work. But, by all means, cook me dinner without everything you need! (haha, sorry Amy and Jackie! but yall did amazing anyways!) Rather than trusting God, we turn to something that is not worthy of our trust at all. We cant place our trust in money. “Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy. Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life” (1 Timothy 6:17-19). You cant trust in your own understanding. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). Sometimes God allows us to experience difficulties so we will learn to place our trust in Him. Place your trust in Him, and He will take care of you, and you will be free of fear.

Its not easy. Fear is tough. One of my biggest fears is being “alone” for the rest of my life. That’s the main thing that I have trouble giving to Him, I guess. Cesar and I had a good conversation last night about us as dudes, and where we stand with women. I let him know that I was afraid of never finding that person. What if I never meet her? What if I never find her?? His answer, just, is why I am so thankful for my brothers like him surrounding me. He says, “Bro, its not your job to find her. Its your job to do everything that you can to prepare yourself for her. Be a leader. Strengthen your relationship with Jesus, and make Him your #1 priority. And then, Jesus brings her to you. Jesus knows the desires in your heart, because He put them there. He isn’t going to put anything in your heart that He isn’t going to fulfill for you.” Man, I cant even begin to explain… So I go straight to Jesus, and say,

--“Ok Jesus, just a shot in the dark here, but, when am I going to meet this girl? Im ready, right??”

--“i love you dearly, and you are not going to have just any woman. you are going to have a sister in Christ, one of my daughters. But, she too must be ready. you must walk by faith, even if you cannot see where I am leading you.”

It never occurred to me that, just because I may be ready, doesn’t mean that God is finished in her life and shes ready. not just anyone, one of His daughters. so, I will gladly walk blindly by faith. Kinda like that feeling you have when your blindfolded, looking for that piñata. That little mini adrenaline rush because you don’t know if youll trip on something, or your friend is gonna sucker punch you in the stomach. yeah, but I love that feeling not knowing exactly where im going. but Jesus knows....